Living Outloud: Jesus’ Blueprint for Conflict and Forgiveness
Jesus didn’t just teach theology—he taught survival. Not survival of the fittest, but survival of the flock. In Matthew 17–21, he hands us the relational oxygen mask: how to breathe through conflict, how to forgive when it feels impossible, and how to live like heaven is our home even when earth feels like a mess.
It’s no accident that the mountaintop transfiguration in Matthew 17 is followed by a descent into chaos—demon possession, tax drama, relational tension. That’s the rhythm of real life: spiritual highs followed by relational lows. The question isn’t whether conflict will come. It’s whether we’ll handle it like Jesus did.
Jesus’ Conflict Blueprint Isn’t Optional—It’s Urgent
Matthew 18 isn’t a suggestion box. It’s a rescue plan. Step one? Go directly to the person who hurt you. Not your group chat. Not your prayer circle. Not your social media feed. Direct. Private. Honest.
Why? Because gossip is a grenade disguised as a candle. It feels like venting, but it spreads fire, not light.
Jesus then lays out a progression: private conversation → small mediation → church involvement → treating the person as an outsider (which, by the way, means loving them like a lost soul, not ghosting them like a toxic ex).
Here’s the gut-punch: the most damage often comes not from the original offense, but from the bitterness we nurse afterward. Satan doesn’t need a big sin to wreak havoc—he just needs us to hold onto it long enough.
Forgiveness Isn’t a Math Problem—It’s a Mirror
Peter tries to quantify grace: “Seven times?” Jesus replies, “Try seventy times seven.” Translation: stop counting. Start reflecting.
Forgiveness isn’t about keeping score—it’s about breaking the scoreboard. It’s not a one-time transaction; it’s a repeated decision to release someone from the debt you feel they owe you.
And that’s the kicker: forgiveness feels impossible when we think we’re owed something. But Jesus, who was owed everything, gave it all away. No one asked him to die for them. He did it anyway.
Humility Is the Soil Where Forgiveness Grows
Matthew 20:28 is the mic drop: “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.” If Jesus chose the towel over the throne, why are we still clinging to our crowns in conflict?
Unforgiveness is often pride in disguise. It says, “I deserve better.” But humility says, “I’ve received better than I deserve.”
So What Do We Do With This?
Identify the relationship where bitterness has taken root.
Initiate the conversation you’ve been avoiding.
Forgive before they apologize.
Serve before they deserve it.
This isn’t just about relational health—it’s about spiritual transformation. When we forgive like Jesus, we don’t just heal relationships. We become more like him.
